You're Invited to the Naming Ceremony!

No, you gullible reader, this is not my second baby. This image was sourced from the internet

My husband A and I have two kids I've recently started calling S1 and S2 on this blog.

S1 and S2 have names in the real world - thank goodness the hospitals in the U.S. require names before discharging babies...otherwise A and I would probably still have placeholder numbers for these two tots of ours. 

However, calling the kids S1 and S2 make them sound like a whole bunch of things but NOT like baby names. More like

- Secret strategic missiles from Iran

- Two versions of an anti-virus software

- Apple operating system upgrades Oh!S1 and Oh!S2

- Adjacent seats on an airplane owned by Mr.S

- Robotic Mr.S's two platinum baby bots

- The heart sounds lub and dub. Lub is S1 and Dub is S2. No, really. I didn't make this one up. I googled it. It's medical terminology and all

Instead, a name that says SOMETHING about their personalities, hints at their real names, sounds divinely baby-ish are all great themes for new names on the blog.

Therefore, I NEED NEW BLOG-NAMES FOR MY TWO GIRLS. The search is on.

You know, like

Raindrops and Roses

Precious older S is full of spark, spunk and personality like a multidimensional raindrop while little S is still a dainty petite little Rose
However, this sounds a little corny at many levels. Pretty, though. I'm torn.

Seashells and Sunshine

Nice alliterative confusing tongue twisters, eh? Just to mess with your head

Lub and Dub

All in the spirit of sticking with Medicine 

Oompa and Loompa

Cho cute I say...all because I love Willy Wonka and his imagination

Thing 1 and Thing 2

As my aunt said, factual and objective names clearly indicating which baby is being talked about

Naming babies in the real world is seeming easier than naming em in the virtual world, eh?

Any suggestions out there? Don't be shy to speak up. After S1 and S2, ANYTHING will burst of creative thinking.

10 Steps to a Hollywood-Style Birth (not for the faint-hearted)

In Hollywood, from 'Honey i think its time!' to a plump, pink baby takes only 20 minutes

                 The mom smiles cheerily, wears make-up and looks fabulously delicious

Dear daughters big S & little S (I know, I know, I need new names for you two on this blog), 

I'm no octo-mom, I only have you two babies. But I've learnt a thing or two about birthing babies these past two years. As I begin writing this blog post, you, my big bold older one, are 19 months old and you, my teeny tiny vulnerable younger baby, you are just 10 days old. Am not sure how old you both will be when I finish writing this, since managing a newborn is quite the distraction and I keep leaving this post mid-sentence to meekly address either of your demands.

I write this because you are both girls and some day you might want to have your own babies. I'm sure we will create so many memories in the next few years that I will completely forget my birth experiences very quickly. Therefore, here is my story as I remember it vividly.

Contrary to all the horror birth stories you must have heard about, I am very happy with my birth stories. I am thrilled to report that I did have a Hollywood-style birth this time around. Sure, even the 'easiest' birth is ridiculously hard and leaves you feeling like something the cat dragged in but I believe that a good birth story is rare and can be immensely empowering to the mother and the person who listens to the story. 

Thank you, my babies, for being so co-operative through my pregnancies and births. You were both marvelous!

Here are my two cents on how to have that elusive Hollywood-style birth.Everything below assumes a healthy mom and a normal pregnancy with no complications, of course. (insert disclaimers galore)

10 STEPS TO A HOLLYWOOD-STYLE BIRTH 

1. HAVE A BIRTH PLAN 
When you know what you want the world will conspire to get you there. Try to envision the actual birth itself. Do not shut your eyes in fear. Visualization is half the job done. 

What is your ideal scene? A natural drug-free birth? A birth with minimal pain? A combination of both? A c-section? 

I was pretty clear that I did not want any pain medication. I am TERRIFIED of medication, especially the epidural, a cocktail injected into the spine to numb you waist downwards, and was mentally prepared for any amount of pain. 

Of course, the first time around whenever I said I wanted a "natural birth", people looked at me like I was one of those nut jobs who wanted to birth in a fragrant blue pool full of lotus flowers, incense and dancing mermaids. 

Maybe I was truly naive about how much pain labor involved the first time around. But I was fine. I survived. As a result, the second time around, I did have a feeling of 'been there done that' confidence. I am proud that I had two completely natural drug-free births. If I can do it, you both totally can. I have experienced how pig-headed and stubborn both of you are about getting your way so don't kid me about being scared. Na-ah!

If you want a natural birth, read Ina May's books. She is a midwife whose mission is to reduce the fear of birth in the U.S.

2. EXERCISE TILL YOU DROP...ERR...THE BABY DROPS
Exercise in pregnancy is all about focus on gravity, balance and movement. Anything you do should work with these three principles. Don't push it...listen to your body and exercise till you feel great, not till you pass out or something.

First trimester - Goal is to survive morning sickness and the fatigue that comes with being pregnant. Listen to your body, rest and exercise only when you really feel like it

Second trimester - Goal is to feel great and ensure you have increased flexibility and endurance. Think yoga, pilates, swimming

Third trimester - Goal is to have energy and  get your baby in the right position. Think walking and squats. The idea is to 'walk the baby down' so he/she settles head down, ready for 'blast-off'.

Also- sweep and swab floors in the third trimester. Full on desi style. Crawl on all fours. While you're at it, go on and rock your belly to make sure baby is head down and in anterior position. Sure it looks hilarious to anyone watching but it works.

3. EAT A RAINBOW A DAY

Enough people, including your doctor, best friend and mother-in-law will talk about eating healthy. You can google 'pregnancy nutrition' (if google exists when you read this) so am not going to go on. 

It all comes down to colorful vegetables and fruits...what I'm calling 'rainbow food'. Steel cut oatmeal. Dates in the last month. 

4. LINE UP YOUR LADIES

Through both my pregnancies and births, I relied on the power of sisterhood - women telling women what works.

If you have a woman friend who lives nearby and actually even remembers what her birth was like and has sage advice for you, great. I hired a doula (sort of like a midwife who helps you manage pain through water therapy, massage etc.) to help me with the pain.

If you want me, I will most willingly be there for you and help you through your big day. I want to give you the freedom and space to decide whether you want me there or not. 

In all this, am assuming you will have a great husband (partner...whatever) who will be your rock through the pregnancy and beyond. Your appa and the doula helped me through both my labor experiences and were simply superb sources of support for massages, emotions, confidence boosts, forbidden snacks, water and just plain eye contact. 

5. HAVE A PLAN-B
HEY! Reality check, girls. Even the best laid plans go awry when we are talking labor and delivery. Think of a back-up plan and be open to a complete overhaul to Plan A

My Plan A was to 'embrace pain'. Second time around i.e. 10 days ago, I was experiencing 3 days and nights of early labor and my pain was getting so intense at 4AM on Monday morning that all my best laid plans flew out of the window.

My Plan B therefore, as narrated to your appa, was to "have the baby ANYHOW, just take this darn pain away or I'll kill you!"  I remember telling your appa to "take me to the hospital, give me the epidural, cut me up and get this baby outta me". 

Thankfully, I had the baby very quickly and there was no time even for an IV hook-up, let alone an epidural. Some babies will have a complex journey into this world though so DO NOT beat yourself up if your birth does not go according to plan. It's fine. Move on.

5. DON'T BE SELF-CONSCIOUS
HAHAHAHAHHAHAA! This one's a joke because labor is so involving, there will be no time to be self-conscious. 

I have to say this because I know some women who feel that labor is undignified. The same women believe that a c-section is much cleaner and more dignified than a natural birth. Seriously?! We are talking MAJOR surgery here. Embrace the amazing body you have and marvel at how powerful nature is.

Story time: my water broke at the end of labor...in the elevator of my building as we were rushing to get into the car. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even walk. I had to literally crawl to the car...on all fours, from my doorstep to the car...no kidding. My neighbor saw me and must have thought it was some Indian religious ritual I was performing on all fours.

6. OBEY THE BODY'S MIND
I think the body has a mind of its own. Just go with the flow and listen to what the body is telling you. 

I was sure I was going to give birth in the car because I started pushing on the way to the hospital. And when baby decides to get out, there is nothing that will hold that determined baby back. Yep, am referring to you, little S.

7. GET VALET PARKING
This is no time to gingerly parallel park or save 5$ on parking. Yes, this is your ultra-savings-conscious-immigrant-desi-mom actually telling you to go ahead and splurge on valet parking. 

I must also tell you that when your appa pulled up in the hospital driveway and the valet asked "Valet parking, sir?",  he yelled all excitedly, Hollywood-style, "Yeah man, she's pushing!!!"

8. DELIVER BABY IN RECORD TIME
Since I had labored entirely at home and was ready to give birth in the car, it was no time before little S was born. My water broke at 7:18AM at home, we reached Prentice Women's Hospital at 7:30AM and you, little S, were born at 7:54AM with a flurry of activity all around

I was fully conscious, alert and thrilled to be done with the pain. And happy beyond belief to finally meet you!

9. WEAR MAKE-UP AND SMILE
I know this sounds frivolous and petty. Calm down. Hear me out.

Last time around, when I gave birth to big S, I thought packing any sort of make-up was a symbol of vanity. I decided that giving birth was such a huge and momentous event that make-up was a silly thing to even think about. I therefore, did not pack any and looked AWFUL in the pictures. 

This time around, I said vanity-shanity and packed some basic make-up. I actually wore lipstick and kaajal a couple of hours after giving birth and felt amazingly refreshed and energized. And I LOVE the pictures we took as a family.

10. TAKE CHOCOLATES FOR THE NURSES
Oh before I forget...I learnt this the hard way the first time around. Remember to pack some tasty treats for the nurses who take care of you postpartum. You might be just another woman in the postpartum ward to the nurses but once you offer them Hershey's Kisses, they surprisingly show up to your room to check on you more often and are just NICER to you. 

Life's little lessons learnt. Good luck!

A list for new moms

Check: 10 fingers, 10 toes

Have two hands? Well - you're all set to take care of a baby. End of list.

Yes, yes, I do believe that babies need nothing but their loving parents around them the first few months. 

But in today's realistic world, in which babies poop, parents don't live in grass huts and we don't anymore give birth by the riverside listening to a babbling brook, there are some basics that just make life easier during those crazy, overwhelming first few months. More so when you are someone who lives in a 'foreign' country and want a mish-mash of multiple cultures and philosophies to child-rearing.

From experience, here is my baby essentials wish-list, rooted in basic needs and contributed to by several of my girlfriends:

We have too many things in brown in our home (including ourselves HAHA) so we got white. Plus, it just screams "baby!" when you buy things in white.

BABY WILL SLEEP Even if you plan to go the desi way and co-sleep right through, it's  comforting to have a safe place to put down the baby and go get that shower.

• Crib: 1 IKEA SUNDVIK white 
• Mattress: 1 IKEA crib mattress 
• Mattress pad: 1 absorbent mattress pad
• Crib sheet: 2 Fitted crib sheets

• Swaddle blankets: If you want the baby to sleep anywhere besides your arms, you better be swaddling! I found Aden and Anais swaddle blankets the best, though some folks I know swear by the ready swaddles such as the miracle blanket

• White noise machine: Essential to use white noise if you have a sensitive baby who wakes up whenever you breathe (politically correct term for fart). Don't waste money on a machine, just get the Sleep Pillow app if you have a smartphone

• An alternative to a crib is a co-sleeper bassinet: The arm's reach co-sleeper is hands down the best. We ended up having the baby right beside us the first 4-5 months and wanted a small unit, something that easily fit into our bedroom. We borrowed our friend's co-sleeper and loved it. 

BONUS! You won't need to banish the husband to the couch just because you want to hear every breath your newborn makes right beside you
DOUBLE BONUS!! Baby might sleep so soundly you might leave baby in the room with husband and move to the couch

This might be more expensive than the crib you want. Beg, borrow or steal this co-sleeper cos baby won't fit in this after ~4 months

BABY WILL TRAVEL

• Car seat: Yawn! Graco snugride rear-facing infant car seat. Safe and boring. I fond car seat shopping SO blah. But this one works. 

Warning: All babies HATE their car seat for the first few weeks and will scream bloody murder when they sit in it. If you are driving with your parents or in-laws in the car, both you and they will be traumatized by the baby-screaming experience. This will cause a rift in the family. You will curse U.S safety laws to death. One day, though, baby will wake up and climb into the car seat with unexplained joy...and you'll want to slap someone. With happiness.

• Stroller: We bought a stroller only after 2-3 months, once we could figure out what we wanted in one. Till then we just used a Graco car seat stroller frame. 

After much debate between the City Mini and UPPA Baby, we splurged and went for a yummy red UPPA Baby Cruz. The 180 degree recline, large basket and light weight was worth every penny - our UPPA baby has been awesome for S's naps on the go on vacation, meal times outdoors and saved my back during grocery time. 

Make sure you get the infant car sear adapter and the parent organizer accessories.

Warning: Denny will quickly become your second baby. You'll want to push it around even without baby in it.

BONUS! I heard somewhere that strollers are the new cars - they add cool factor for dad and ensure that he loves taking the baby out
DOUBLE BONUS!! Mom can veg out and catch-up on mindless trash TV

• Baby carrier: Try to borrow a friend's for the first few days to see which carrier you guys and the baby like best. Our friend MC lent us the Baby Bjorn, it worked for S and we didn't experiment. We also bought a Sleepy Wrap, was great to head out to brunch with a tiny newborn snugly tucked inside the wrap



Free! Lady with wrap

If you're searching for the ideal one for you, check out Babble's super cool research on the best carriers of 2013

• Diaper bag: Diaper Dude for a large option, so dad can carry the big fat bag. Land's end Little tripper for a smaller option

BABY WILL POOP

• Diapers: Pamper, huggies, cloth diapers or nude bums? We just bought Pampers in bulk from amazon because our hospital started us on that and it worked
• Wipes: We just used a damp Bounty because we didn't want chemicals on S's gorgeous tush just yet. We used Pampers sensitive wipes for travel
• Changing sheet/pad: Helps to have a changing pad with a washable cover so baby pee and poop doesn't get all over the place! Someone recommended that we buy a 4-sided pad but I don't think it makes a difference, really
• Diaper rash cream: Desitin
• Vaseline or Aquaphor or Weleda creams: Apply before putting on new diaper

BABY WILL EAT

• Nursing cover: Go wild choosing pretty prints on amazon
• Boppy pillow
• Bottles: I just used the Medela bottles the first few months. S refused to take a bottle after a month or so and I had to buy every single bottle in the market to see which one she liked. I suggest NUK, Medela or Lansinoh bottles if you don't know where to begin
• Bottle brush

MOMMY WILL NEED TO FEEL LIKE A HUMAN NOT COW

• Nursing pajamas: Love the Japanese weekend brand
• Nightgowns: Ask mom or mil to bring you night gowns from India - you know, those shady ones with a long zipper in front - best thing ever if you plan to nurse. 

BONUS! You can always experience the joy of burning them later...
DOUBLE BONUS!! You can rip them apart with your bare hands and then experience the joy of burning them later

• Recliner or rocking chair with ottoman: I couldn't praise the Dutailier rocker-glider more. I have family from India who want to buy and take one back with them

Fake photo alert: See how happy the mamma is, huh? 

• An iPhone: No, really, this phone with headphones saved me those first few weeks of nursing non-stop. I watched movies, wrote emails and read books on the Kindle app. I also threw it on husband A to wake him up when I wanted him to change S's diaper. Hehe!

BABY WILL NOT UN-FRIEND YOU ON FACEBOOK IF YOU DON'T BUY THESE BUT THESE ARE NICE-TO-HAVE SPLURGES THAT MY FRIENDS SWEAR BY

• A stroller with a bassinet option: Nice option because you can step out for a walk, make the baby sleep in the stroller and then bring the stroller bassinet into the bedroom without waking up the baby. If you feel splurgy enough to get a Bugaboo, great! The UPPA baby Vista and Cruz also offer sturdy bassinets as optional accessories. 
• Baby video monitor:  Dropcam. Can see baby from anywhere in the world. No, seriously
• Bouncy seat: Bjorn babysitter balance. Plop baby in it and take to the loo when you are alone at home and gotta go
• Bath tub: Some people use the kitchen sink the first few months then switch to the big tub. I used this baby tub with sling
• First-aid kit: This is actually not just a nice-to-have, it's a must-have. What you want in this depends on how paranoid you are. Ask your doctor and friends for recommendations.

Whew. That was a long post. If you actually made it this far, go ahead and add anything you thought saved your life those first few months. Even your therapist's phone number