We now have a son

No, we did not adopt a baby. 

We had our home grown barber give S her third haircut last weekend. The husband and I were sick of taking S to the very famous Mini Snippets - a kids' haircut place - where she would proceed to unleash all her existential angst by bellowing her tiny lungs out. The chair, the mirror, strange people...and worst of all, the big black coat around her....she hated it all. At the end of the session, we always had two frustrated parents and one traumatised kiddo.

This time around, we decided to do it ourselves. Rather, I decided to cut her hair myself. Mommies do this all the time, right? I watched a bunch of videos on YouTube and felt like a pro.

A did have some doubts about this new venture:
Do you really think we should do this? We are total amateurs.
We might screw up her hair
She might freak out anyway

I confidently dismissed all doubts and said that the baby I carried in my womb for nine months would be most comfortable with her loving, caring mommy going snip snip, right?

Wrong! 

We put S in her bathtub, I took the pair of scissors, snipped just a tiny bit and...FROZE. At that moment, I felt like I couldn't bring those sharp, dagger-like, extremely dangerous pair of scissors near my Precious little innocent baby's angelic cherubic face. Chicken.

Thankfully, the husband had some presence of mind, jumped in to save the day, grabbed the scissors and cut her hair quickly. She did wail but at least it was short, quick and we did not have to endure a crying baby in a car ride back home. Whew.

Thing is - random passers-by have been telling me how absolutely friendly and adorable my son is. :-)

Tell me, I'm curious:
Does this incident remind you of something crazy you've ever done? Or almost did? ;-)

Once they start talking, you stop.

S was an early walker, early talker. Though many parents told me life would be hell once she started walking and getting into every corner of the house, I really enjoyed her walking. She became more independent and I didn't need to carry her everywhere.

Now to the talking. S started saying slightly complex two syllable words before she turned one. At her one-year appointment, A and I proudly told her doctor that S was talking quite a bit when he cautioned us about the language we use at home.

"Babies understand way more than they talk. You know what that means, right? You guys need to watch what you're saying"

and all of a sudden, A and I are polite to each other (sort of), switch TV channels when there is foul language, and bite our tongue even when we want to yell  %&^*(&*($% at each other. To be honest, A isn't the cussing type. It's his Miss.Manners butcher-wife who has a temper and needs to control it these days!!!

Thanks, S. You are teaching mommy and daddy to use their Ps and Qs for the first time ever. Babies are a good influence on their parents.

Daddy daddy cool

Everything is about appa these days. S turned one and around the same time, realized that life didn't need to only revolve around mom. She discovered this new person who walks in the door every Thursday night and creates a fun filled weekend for her. Now she can't stop asking me where appa is. She even looks at a picture of A and asks me enquiringly... "appa?" and runs to the phone everytime it rings, asking me "appa?" and runs to the door whenever there is a knock, asking me...you guessed it! "appa?"

Everlasting daddy-daughter bonding has begun.

What's that? Am I a teeny-weeny bit jealous, you ask? I do all the hard work during the week and he saunters in to receive boundless love....Is this fair, you ask? Am I upset, you ask? Hmm....let me think about it.

Ha! Nope. YAHOO!!! Finally a break from 24x7 parenting and it's a win-win-win! :-D

Oh...and A dutifully changes the diaper whenever he is around and S will NOT have me change it when she knows her appa is around.

Double win.

Tell me, I'm curious:
Growing up, were there phases when you switched loyalties between your parents?

How to keep mum

A research study at work revealed that 'new moms' were the most opinionated cohort among all cohorts ever. (Explains why there are so many mommy blogs out there and why P&G is dying to get these mommy bloggers to talk and write about their superior products, huh?). I heard this when I was an exhausted, confused new mom who had just returned to work and was baffled. What - me? New mom - opinionated? No way - I had no clue how to do anything when it came to babies.

Fast forward to a year later and....I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Especially when talking to other moms. and ESPECIALLY when we start talking about my favorite topic- baby sleep.
Sleep - or the lack of it - was my state of being for the first nine months of motherhood. S was AWFUL about sleep. Since then, I rolled up my sleeves and decided that I was not going to crib, vent, rant or blame the baby for my sleep deprivation . Not any more. A and I devised a plan and taught S to sleep on her own. and wow, best decision ever. That was the start of teaching our child good sleeping habits. I admit, I tend to be quite fussy/rigid about when, where and how S should sleep and almost NEVER compromise on her sleep.

Now that I've written it loud and clear, am sure the Jinx God will come knocking at my door tonight! Darn.

Anyway - since then, I started to believe that if the mom (usually the primary caregiver) is not disciplined about the baby's sleep, the baby cannot be disciplined and independent about falling asleep on her own. I also started to have a very low tolerance for mom/dad/other well-wisher fatalistic, moralistic, helpless statements such as -
"Children will learn to sleep when they are ready. You need to suck it up now"
"We never slept for the first 2-3 years of our kids' lives so you should not expect to"
"I haven't slept for the past 6 years since I had my daughter"
"I make my child sleep at 10PM but she still wakes up early...I don't know why"
"This is the price of parenthood"
"Let the maid make the baby sleep, I'm done trying"

Of course, baby sleep sucks when the baby reaches new milestones or is unwell. I'm not talking about those exceptions here. I'm talking about a healthy, happy baby who wakes up  at night for no real reason.
Now, when S was born, I understood immediately that all children and unique and different and of course, there is no one formula that fits all. They are not robots. However, since witnessing that teaching S to sleep on her own was the only way we got any sleep and became, therefore, human once again, I've been dying to spread the joy to other sleep-deprived moms. In fact, when other mom friends started calling me for advice, I became more confident that my way was a great way...no...the only way.

Sigh. I need to learn to shut up! When my dear friends comment that they are exhausted and wish they never had kids, I get all worked up and emotional for them and get into my 'Helpful' Sleep Nazi mode = lecture mode. I typically dislike people who moralize, lecture and think there is one way to do things/live life. Sadly, I've observed myself fall in that category when it comes to baby sleep. I'm tired of seeing all my mom friends tired and can see the 'mistakes' they are making when it comes to their baby's sleep.

One fine day, though, I realized that you know what - some moms need to crib just to vent about motherhood. Because motherhood is the hardest job ever. Some moms DO have it harder than others. Some moms have almost no help with the baby and have to plod on alone. They have no village helping them raise their child. and some moms have babies who are fussier than others.

All of us have good days and bad ones. and babies who sleep well and babies who don't. I just need to remember that and accept that if my friends aren't sleeping well, they have a good reason for living that way and it's not my business to 'help' them out.

#nomoreinterfering

Tell me, I'm curious:
When do you find it hardest to keep your mouth shut and not share an opinion?

Typical sleep story in my home

Shoes Blues

Our little cutlet is toddling all over town and we decided to buy her shoes. Since A and I are simple, straightforward humans, we expected the whole experience to be somewhat like this:
Step 1: Go to store
Step 2: Go to the shoe section, ask someone to come and help measure her feet
Step 3: Choose a bright, happy kiddie color and buy the shoe
We imagined that she would happily wear her shoes and toddle with giggly glee all over the store and we would be so proud.
End of imagined sequence of events.

Unfortunately, since our little one has inherited my somewhat drama-queen-esque gene, here's what reality had in store for us
Step 1: Went to store. Zeroed in on the downtown Nordstrom because our wise friend D had once told us 
Nordstrom shoes are bloody expensive but hey....they give you a balloon.
Step 2: Go to the shoe section, ask someone to come and help measure her feet.

and that's where the predictability ended. 
Step 3: Held suddenly-screaming baby in front of the shoe rack, clueless about what made her so upset. 
Step 4: A and I launched into a slightly stressful parental conversation
a: Did she poop? Maybe she needs a diaper change
me: Lemme check. Nope. She is clean
me: I think maybe something's poking her...maybe she has a sharp object...like a pin stuck to her dress
(I frantically check)
oh no...nothing like that.

so we went on for a couple of minutes...checked the usual stuff...is she hungry? nope. is she thirsty? nope. Is she possessed? nope. Is everyone at the store glaring at us? Yup. Is someone going to call 911 or Foster care? Highly likely if we don't quickly detect the cause of the problem.
We finally realized that it was the shoes. SHOES! A picked up the bright pink, absolutely adorable shoe our  meek store assistant had brought out, and held it in front of S.  

Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Waaaahhhhh!!! Screeeammmmmm! Huge drops of tears fell out of her big baby eyes. She flipped. 
He held up a plain white shoe and wow - no crying. 
This was bizarre. Our daughter was terrified of a cute little happy shoe.
My extremely logical, rational husband had to admit defeat to this illogical baby he had fathered. 

I'm happy to conclude that we left behind all the adorably bright pink, green and purple shoes and bought the simple white ones. She can buy her own colorful shoes when she's 18. We continue to remain a happy family.

Tell me, I'm curious:
Do you know any babies who reacted weirdly to normal stuff?