Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Have a Heat-y New Year

Something's been the matter with the HVAC ie the heater in our home. 

We own a condominium in which the heating unit and controls are in our own home. Which means that when we need to switch from AC to heat sometime in September-October, we do it ourselves, we don't wait for the 'building management' to make the switch on our behalf. Which is what people in many rental apartments have to do. 

The upside to this system is that you are your own boss, A and I decide what temperature we want, when. Be it snow or sunshine. 

The downside to this lovely independence is that when the heater decides to die on you at 9:30pm on New Year's Eve, just after your last party guest leaves (yes with a newborn and a toddler, we were pretty lame and yawning and bleary eyed at 9pm for our impromptu get-together. But hey- the party started at 2pm with our first guest showing up to our very cool 'open house party', in which we asked folks to swing by whenever they wanted to, through the afternoon and evening. We ordered heavy snacks and friends took turns holding the baby and playing with the toddler. It was fantastic!!!)

Back to the heater issue. Everyone left and suddenly the temperature at home dropped from 72F to 64F in a matter of ten minutes. The engineer-educated husband A tinkered around with the heater and gloomily announced that she (should I call a machine a he?) was not working.

We needed a repairman on the night of New Year's Eve, when there was a raging snowstorm and a ridiculous traffic jam outside. Crap. 

The chances of getting one were slim. Which meant that we probably needed to wake the kids, pack up and move to our friends P&D's place for the night. Wake sleeping kids. Shudder. Because our freezing home would only get colder, considering it was 18F or, in sensible language, a crazy MINUS 12C! 

Well the short version of the story is that A did manage to find someone to come... turns out a broken heater is an emergency situation in the developed world and there are heat companies working round the clock for this precise panicky reason. 

Best part of all- my bedroom was always on the colder side.. And right now, as I type this at 3AM on the first of January 2014, I am happy to report that my room is FINALLY toasty as hell. 

Just the way a true blooded Madrasi chick likes it. We are warm blooded mammals, people! Let's strive for heath over coolth, always!

This does not mean I will stop stealing the better half of the quilt from A, mind it. 

In this new year 2014 I resolve to NEVER take the power of the home heater for granted. I promise to NEVER verbally abuse this machine ever. However noisy and loud it is. (Sounds like a friggin truck) Howmuchever space it takes up in my home. (It is the size of a small closet)

This does mean that I am thrilled at this moment and rejoicing the warm start to this fabulous year ahead.

From our family of four to your cosy family, HAPPY NEW YEAR and stay warm, cool, cold, tepid, lukewarm...whatever temperature gives you your kicks!!!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

You're Invited to the Naming Ceremony!

No, you gullible reader, this is not my second baby. This image was sourced from the internet
My husband A and I have two kids I've recently started calling S1 and S2 on this blog.

S1 and S2 have names in the real world - thank goodness the hospitals in the U.S. require names before discharging babies...otherwise A and I would probably still have placeholder numbers for these two tots of ours. 

However, calling the kids S1 and S2 make them sound like a whole bunch of things but NOT like baby names. More like
- Secret strategic missiles from Iran
- Two versions of an anti-virus software
- Apple operating system upgrades Oh!S1 and Oh!S2
- Adjacent seats on an airplane owned by Mr.S
- Robotic Mr.S's two platinum baby bots
- The heart sounds lub and dub. Lub is S1 and Dub is S2. No, really. I didn't make this one up. I googled it. It's medical terminology and all

Instead, a name that says SOMETHING about their personalities, hints at their real names, sounds divinely baby-ish are all great themes for new names on the blog.

Therefore, I NEED NEW BLOG-NAMES FOR MY TWO GIRLS. The search is on.

You know, like
Raindrops and Roses
Precious older S is full of spark, spunk and personality like a multidimensional raindrop while little S is still a dainty petite little Rose
However, this sounds a little corny at many levels. Pretty, though. I'm torn.

Seashells and Sunshine
Nice alliterative confusing tongue twisters, eh? Just to mess with your head

Lub and Dub
All in the spirit of sticking with Medicine 

Cho cute I say...all because I love Willy Wonka and his imagination

Thing 1 and Thing 2
As my aunt said, factual and objective names clearly indicating which baby is being talked about

Naming babies in the real world is seeming easier than naming em in the virtual world, eh?

Any suggestions out there? Don't be shy to speak up. After S1 and S2, ANYTHING will burst of creative thinking.


Friday, December 13, 2013

10 Steps to a Hollywood-Style Birth (not for the faint-hearted)

In Hollywood, from 'Honey i think its time!' to a plump, pink baby takes only 20 minutes
                 The mom smiles cheerily, wears make-up and looks fabulously delicious

Dear daughters big S & little S (I know, I know, I need new names for you two on this blog)

I'm no octo-mom, I only have you two babies. But I've learnt a thing or two about birthing babies these past two years. As I begin writing this blog post, you, my big bold older one, are 19 months old and you, my teeny tiny vulnerable younger baby, you are just 10 days old. Am not sure how old you both will be when I finish writing this, since managing a newborn is quite the distraction and I keep leaving this post mid-sentence to meekly address either of your demands.

I write this because you are both girls and some day you might want to have your own babies. I'm sure we will create so many memories in the next few years that I will completely forget my birth experiences very quickly. Therefore, here is my story as I remember it vividly.


Contrary to all the horror birth stories you must have heard about, I am very happy with my birth stories. I am thrilled to report that I did have a Hollywood-style birth this time around. Sure, even the 'easiest' birth is ridiculously hard and leaves you feeling like something the cat dragged in but I believe that a good birth story is rare and can be immensely empowering to the mother and the person who listens to the story. 

Thank you, my babies, for being so co-operative through my pregnancies and births. You were both marvelous!

Here are my two cents on how to have that elusive Hollywood-style birth.Everything below assumes a healthy mom and a normal pregnancy with no complications, of course. (insert disclaimers galore)

10 STEPS TO A HOLLYWOOD-STYLE BIRTH 

1. HAVE A BIRTH PLAN 
When you know what you want the world will conspire to get you there. Try to envision the actual birth itself. Do not shut your eyes in fear. Visualization is half the job done. 

What is your ideal scene? A natural drug-free birth? A birth with minimal pain? A combination of both? A c-section? 

I was pretty clear that I did not want any pain medication. I am TERRIFIED of medication, especially the epidural, a cocktail injected into the spine to numb you waist downwards, and was mentally prepared for any amount of pain. 

Of course, the first time around whenever I said I wanted a "natural birth", people looked at me like I was one of those nut jobs who wanted to birth in a fragrant blue pool full of lotus flowers, incense and dancing mermaids. 

Maybe I was truly naive about how much pain labor involved the first time around. But I was fine. I survived. As a result, the second time around, I did have a feeling of 'been there done that' confidence. I am proud that I had two completely natural drug-free births. If I can do it, you both totally can. I have experienced how pig-headed and stubborn both of you are about getting your way so don't kid me about being scared. Na-ah!

If you want a natural birth, read Ina May's books. She is a midwife whose mission is to reduce the fear of birth in the U.S.

2. EXERCISE TILL YOU DROP...ERR...THE BABY DROPS
Exercise in pregnancy is all about focus on gravity, balance and movement. Anything you do should work with these three principles. Don't push it...listen to your body and exercise till you feel great, not till you pass out or something.

First trimester - Goal is to survive morning sickness and the fatigue that comes with being pregnant. Listen to your body, rest and exercise only when you really feel like it

Second trimester - Goal is to feel great and ensure you have increased flexibility and endurance. Think yoga, pilates, swimming

Third trimester - Goal is to have energy and  get your baby in the right position. Think walking and squats. The idea is to 'walk the baby down' so he/she settles head down, ready for 'blast-off'.

Also- sweep and swab floors in the third trimester. Full on desi style. Crawl on all fours. While you're at it, go on and rock your belly to make sure baby is head down and in anterior position. Sure it looks hilarious to anyone watching but it works.

3. EAT A RAINBOW A DAY
Enough people, including your doctor, best friend and mother-in-law will talk about eating healthy. You can google 'pregnancy nutrition' (if google exists when you read this) so am not going to go on. 

It all comes down to colorful vegetables and fruits...what I'm calling 'rainbow food'. Steel cut oatmeal. Dates in the last month. 

4. LINE UP YOUR LADIES
Through both my pregnancies and births, I relied on the power of sisterhood - women telling women what works.

If you have a woman friend who lives nearby and actually even remembers what her birth was like and has sage advice for you, great. I hired a doula (sort of like a midwife who helps you manage pain through water therapy, massage etc.) to help me with the pain.

If you want me, I will most willingly be there for you and help you through your big day. I want to give you the freedom and space to decide whether you want me there or not. 

In all this, am assuming you will have a great husband (partner...whatever) who will be your rock through the pregnancy and beyond. Your appa and the doula helped me through both my labor experiences and were simply superb sources of support for massages, emotions, confidence boosts, forbidden snacks, water and just plain eye contact. 

5. HAVE A PLAN-B
HEY! Reality check, girls. Even the best laid plans go awry when we are talking labor and delivery. Think of a back-up plan and be open to a complete overhaul to Plan A

My Plan A was to 'embrace pain'. Second time around i.e. 10 days ago, I was experiencing 3 days and nights of early labor and my pain was getting so intense at 4AM on Monday morning that all my best laid plans flew out of the window.

My Plan B therefore, as narrated to your appa, was to "have the baby ANYHOW, just take this darn pain away or I'll kill you!"  I remember telling your appa to "take me to the hospital, give me the epidural, cut me up and get this baby outta me". 

Thankfully, I had the baby very quickly and there was no time even for an IV hook-up, let alone an epidural. Some babies will have a complex journey into this world though so DO NOT beat yourself up if your birth does not go according to plan. It's fine. Move on.

5. DON'T BE SELF-CONSCIOUS
HAHAHAHAHHAHAA! This one's a joke because labor is so involving, there will be no time to be self-conscious. 

I have to say this because I know some women who feel that labor is undignified. The same women believe that a c-section is much cleaner and more dignified than a natural birth. Seriously?! We are talking MAJOR surgery here. Embrace the amazing body you have and marvel at how powerful nature is.

Story time: my water broke at the end of labor...in the elevator of my building as we were rushing to get into the car. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even walk. I had to literally crawl to the car...on all fours, from my doorstep to the car...no kidding. My neighbor saw me and must have thought it was some Indian religious ritual I was performing on all fours.

6. OBEY THE BODY'S MIND
I think the body has a mind of its own. Just go with the flow and listen to what the body is telling you. 

I was sure I was going to give birth in the car because I started pushing on the way to the hospital. And when baby decides to get out, there is nothing that will hold that determined baby back. Yep, am referring to you, little S.

7. GET VALET PARKING
This is no time to gingerly parallel park or save 5$ on parking. Yes, this is your ultra-savings-conscious-immigrant-desi-mom actually telling you to go ahead and splurge on valet parking. 

I must also tell you that when your appa pulled up in the hospital driveway and the valet asked "Valet parking, sir?",  he yelled all excitedly, Hollywood-style, "Yeah man, she's pushing!!!"

8. DELIVER BABY IN RECORD TIME
Since I had labored entirely at home and was ready to give birth in the car, it was no time before little S was born. My water broke at 7:18AM at home, we reached Prentice Women's Hospital at 7:30AM and you, little S, were born at 7:54AM with a flurry of activity all around

I was fully conscious, alert and thrilled to be done with the pain. And happy beyond belief to finally meet you!

9. WEAR MAKE-UP AND SMILE
I know this sounds frivolous and petty. Calm down. Hear me out.

Last time around, when I gave birth to big S, I thought packing any sort of make-up was a symbol of vanity. I decided that giving birth was such a huge and momentous event that make-up was a silly thing to even think about. I therefore, did not pack any and looked AWFUL in the pictures. 

This time around, I said vanity-shanity and packed some basic make-up. I actually wore lipstick and kaajal a couple of hours after giving birth and felt amazingly refreshed and energized. And I LOVE the pictures we took as a family.

10. TAKE CHOCOLATES FOR THE NURSES
Oh before I forget...I learnt this the hard way the first time around. Remember to pack some tasty treats for the nurses who take care of you postpartum. You might be just another woman in the postpartum ward to the nurses but once you offer them Hershey's Kisses, they surprisingly show up to your room to check on you more often and are just NICER to you. 

Life's little lessons learnt. Good luck!









Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Bumbling into Books - 4 - Preparing for New Babies

This is a draft post I wrote a month ago:

Here are the highly contextual books 18 month old S (and I, by default) are reading this month. I'm too superstitious to announce that I'm very VERY big and pregnant as I write this - am 37 weeks along. 

So my brilliant plan is to write all this, save drafts and publish them as a distraction while I'm screaming through labor in the hospital. Eeyahahahhaa! (not)

Of course, am super tense about how Precious S takes the whole thing. It's amazing how this time around my only concern seems to be S and not my own labor or delivery. Motherhood is so weird and all bloody sacrificial, I say!

In my usual "let's prepare till we drop" style, I borrowed a ton of "prepare your baby for the new baby" books from the library and am reading them to S.

Not sure how much she really understands but she sure loves these books. These are rank ordered from her most favorite to least favorite:

S loves all the 'new' animals and their little ones snuggled close to their mamas: 
Armadillo, coyote, raccoon, platypus and puggles, kangaroo and joey
UPDATE: I really do want to thank Mama's Milk. The day baby #2 was born, S came to the hospital and saw me nursing and said "amma feeding baby" and did NOT get jealous or freak out. I think...thanks to this book


Cute illustrations. Simple story. 
S enjoys seeing an image of the mom nursing the new baby while the oblivious dad sleeps soundly beside them. 
(Dislike!)


Front Cover
Once he learns to play with her, the little monster quickly accepts the new baby in the house. 
S was a little disappointed there was no Cookie Monster in the book. 
No thanks to you, Elmo, for setting up these expectations!

Akka book
Personally, I didn't like this one too much. S loved seeing the older sister i.e. the akka carrying a baby, though